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Assignment From the Oracle



Make a living will. Don't leave it to your closest and dearest to clean up the biggest mess you could ever make.


Make arrangements for your pets in case of emergency, and write them down. Check to make sure their potential caretaker shares your devotion to keeping them out of the pound under any circumstances--and the means.


Try to go through one day without saying anything that qualifies as "filler". Afterwards, ask yourself how much "fillerspeak" you use, and ask yourself how you feel about what that says about you.


Destroy your emotional garbage. Collect it, examine it, and get rid of it-- WITHOUT PUTTING YOUR TRASH ON SOMEONE ELSE'S LAWN


Master solitude. After all, it's not a guarantee that you'll die first.


Accept the possibility of the presence of that which you can't see. Separate that concept from religion, and truly accept the possibility that your reality isn't necessarily everyone else's--and that the reverse is true. The person in the car next to you may have a complete different reality, which almost certainly will affect his or her actions.


In one day, be YOUR OWN Yoda, be SOMEONE ELSE's Yoda, and LET SOMEONE ELSE be your Yoda for a second. Let your role be flexible in the world.


Ponder how you'd feel if someone threw their litter on the floor in front of your church's altar. Then, do a little research to see how many spiritual paths consider the earth as their altar. Then, put a garbage bag in your car. Carry your trash with you to a garbage can.


Perfect your handshake. A limp, affected handshake makes more people queasy than you can imagine. An overly aggressive bone-crusher leads people to make compensation jokes behind your back.


Don't ever copy someone else. If you imitate, in art or life, put your own stamp on it and give credit where credit is due. As a Basho said, "Don't seek to follow in the footsteps of others; seek what they sought."


Censor your own self. That's one of the perks of being an adult -- and one of the most profound responsibilities. "I'm sorry" is merely more talk; it doesn't ever erase anything.


Make faces at yourself in the mirror. Tell yourself you would most certainly want to date yourself. If you wouldn't, don't expect anyone else to.


Don't drink more than you can think, unless you really consider those around you to be as smart as you are, and as good at making decisions as you are.


Take a gun safety course. Just in case you need to know how to at least put the safety on one.


Get a drivers' licence, you! Even if you don't need to in your current life, an emergency could come where someone needs to drive, and you're the only one standing. If you can't drive a stick-shift, learn. Wouldn't you hate to be the only possible driver in an emergency, and have to say in a whimper, "I can't, um, drive a, um, stickshift?"

Have you ever had a dream, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?

What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire deviant life, that there's something wrong with the story. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.

You take the blue pill, the story ends. Your browser closes and you believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in wonderland. And, I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

I offer only the truth, nothing more.

Take: The Red Pill
Take: The Blue Pill

spyed, nobody has ever done this before.
I know. That's why it's going to work.

hahaha....it does look like a mechanical frog always the creative mind thank you very much

ah yes i can see that thank you soo much for the comment as usual i hope your new year is going well

the intent was to redo the storm scene from King Lear.

Thanks for the comment though

Proclamation from the Elphic Oracle

Last year was a big one for me, and there were times where I truly didn't think I'd get through it. Then, one day, I was looking for new desktop wallpapers to taunt my father with (ongoing game) and found an odd site called DeviantART.

Somehow, through the fluke of a few clicks of my mouse and a search engine that deserves a , I found a place that allowed me to grow as an artist AND helped me find the support that allowed me to get through this.

Within a month, the legal part of it will be over (see my journal), but I know in my heart I can get through this. Beyond that, I'm actually HAPPY. And part of the reason Sister Elphie MADE IT to 2003 is that incredible kindness and support I received from people here at DA.

Many thanks, more heartfelt than I can convey, to those who did that for me. I hope the new year brings you blessings in proportion to the amazing compassion you extended to me.




Elphaba Stevens

HAPPY HOLIDAYS and mad christmas love